My First Defining Moment Thanks to Justin Timberlake
As I sit here today, I’m reflecting about all the moments in my life that have led me to this exact point. The moments that guided me at forks in the road, the moments that accelerated my path forward, and the moments that slowed me down.
So many moments.
So many memories.
So many decisions.
When I think back to my earliest defining moment, I picture myself in high school. I attended a college-prep school where 100% of students graduated and 99% pursued higher education. There wasn’t room for imagining a path outside of that. Fortunately, that expectation aligned with what I wanted: I saw myself in college. I loved the idea of furthering my education, living on my own (even if it was still within the comfort bubble of dorms and meal plans), and experiencing what life might look like beyond my hometown.
With the excitement of college came even more decisions. Where would I go? What would I study? And a question that felt somewhat unique to me: Would I continue playing volleyball?
The later question loomed large because the schools I like for academics did not align with the schools where volleyball would be involved. There were so many questions and so many decisions to make.
Up to that point, I searched for answers not within myself, but within the people asking me the questions. What did they want to hear? What was the “right” answer? Surely there had to be one. I was the epitome of a people-pleaser. I didn’t want to be wrong, I didn’t want to make a mistake, and I certainly didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
With all of these decisions looming, my parents helped me narrow things down to a couple of “safe” schools and a couple of “stretch” schools. (Again — they helped, because I still believed there was a right and wrong answer, and I didn’t want to choose incorrectly.) I visited each one and somehow liked them all the same. Nothing stood out. Nothing felt like mine.
And then—Justin Timberlake happened.
(Stick with me here.)
My mom saw that Justin Timberlake was coming to Columbus for a concert and wanted to surprise me with tickets. She just needed a way to get me two hours from home without me suspecting anything. Her solution? She booked a campus tour at Ohio State.
That single choice changed everything.
Ohio State hadn’t even been on my radar. Most of my family went to Michigan or Michigan State, so OSU wasn’t exactly spoken about fondly in my house. But during that visit, something clicked. It was a large school with a beautiful campus, a brand-new city to explore, and a feeling I hadn’t experienced at any of the other schools.
It was, in every possible way, the “wrong” answer to the question.
And yet—it felt exactly right.
This was the moment I let go of the preconceived expectations I had been carrying in my head and made a decision purely from my gut. Along with that decision came another: I would go to school for academics only, and I would not pursue volleyball. Deep down, I already knew this but now I had to say it out loud for the first time.
So, after eight years, thousands of dollars, thousands of hours driving to and from games and practices, I told my parents my decision. Once the words were out, all of the “right” and “wrong” reactions I was expecting were clearly made up in my own mind. With full support from my loved ones, I moved forward with a certainty that surprised even me.
Today, I recognize this as one of the most defining moments of my life. I still lean on that gutsy decision to trust my instincts rather than the fear of how others might react. That seventeen-year-old made a choice for herself, and it remains one of the best decisions she ever made.
I thank her often for breaking out of the cycle of people-pleasing I had built around myself. And when I feel myself slipping back into that pattern, I pause, reflect, and listen to my gut because that Justin Timberlake-loving seventeen-year-old taught me how.
Hannah McGraw
Founder - Pathwise